this is a new year

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hello 2009!

finally i am back in wordpress….with a new blog of course…

i was looking back at some of my successful journals (china trip journals) and i thoroughly enjoyed reading through them, seeing where i was at certain points in life, and just reading my random thoughts and stuff…..SO one of my resolutions for this year is to blog consistently in this thing, whether its about deep personal stuff or just plain stupid funny stuff…!

after a couple of retreats I had the chance to spend new years in Chicago with some homies…
how could things be any better? i was with my favorite people, watching fireworks, celebrating the new year…
but I remember just standing there infront of the fireworks going off and i just had this weird feeling… i got sad and cold and i didnt know why…  after God brought me through another amazing year in 2008, and all the things that I got to do and experience…

maybe it was the fireworks? just watching those things shoot up in the air and blow up brilliantly and just die down and fade away… where did all the glamour go? what the heck just happened to that thing that was shining so brightly? why the heck am i so low right now? ni…

i just had this deep emptiness in my heart… more like a deeper longing… for something greater…  i was hungry… cuz i knew there was so much more at hand, so much more than what I know, what I’ve experienced, what i’ve seen…

it was a pretty emo way to end 2008 but it was surely a good kind of emo…

i’m writing about this because I want to remember how i felt when the fireworks were going off for 2009… the deep longing… the pounding insatiable hunger…
I want to take it to every part of my life, everything I will do and experience in this new year…
allthewhile knowing that only God can satisfy this longing…

all of us are really hungry. we have desires. we want a lot of things. we crave things.
some things we should, some things we shouldn’t.
but either way we crave a lot of things

usually i am told to rid myself of these desires, but i’ve been learning that it’s not about getting rid of your desires and cravings, but channeling them towards something greater, something more important

david said (god) satisfies your desires with good things, so that your youth is renewed like the eagles

i want to read that and know that not just in my head, but in my heart nam sayin

so yea. this is a new year. a new year.  im gonna come in with all the expectations i have cuz i know gods gonna blow them all out of the window… ill review 2008 later

if you read down to here you are a champ

bye!

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Tags: 2009, emo, new, year